[1930-06-06] Keep Smiling Anyway!

Published

Not So Easily Settled

You are right in saying that laughter and love are more effective tools for child training than switches and scolding. But of course the question is not quite simple even after we accept that fact. In "Homebird's" case, for instance, she has not only the children and her work to consider, but the matter of pleasing an unsympathetic husband. We are all of us torn by many desires, of course; we not only crave to satisfy our housewifely instincts and mother our children in the best possible way, but we want the approval of our husbands, we must cater to the requirements of hired help, we want to ward off the barbed criticisms of neighbors and relatives, we want to earn money, we want time for pleasure and diversion. How to maintain a wholesome balance between all these demands is a problem which is hard to solve. Suppose we just shut our eyes to the mess, and pick up the stubborn little rebel and love him back to sweetness.

There is not a doubt in the world that it is the logical, wholesome things to do, both for his sake and his mother's. But noon comes and the head of the house is surprised and displeased that the house is not in order and dinner not on the table. "You should have done the work first," or "You ought to just make the children mind, or better still make them help you with the work," is his comment. And the hired man doesn't like to wait for meals. And the neighbor on one side disapproves of your pampering the children while your work waits, while the neighbor on the other side thinks you are too strict with them. Your own mother perhaps thinks you have far too much to do, while your mother-in-law thinks you don't do enough. The missionary society thinks that if you had any religion you would arrange to get out to the meetings, while Mrs. Stick-to-Work looks with a coldly disapproving eye on any jaunts away from home.

It takes a brave and philosophical soul to disregard all such criticisms. So the greatest problem in child training, after all, is not training the children, but training ourselves to accept the frictions of life as wholesomely, gently and generously as we may. If we could be left alone with our children, with nothing but motherly affection to guide us, we might not be any more successful with them than we are in the midst of skimped and strenuous lives. But as "R.G. K." remarks, "if you can't do everything, keep smiling anyway." --Hope.